A Palm Sunday Drive Through Parky’s Farm

My son Joel and I take pleasure in evening drives through Parky’s Farm in Winton Woods. I enjoy looking for herons in the pond, while Joel likes to “wave at the horses.”

            This time, driving through the entrance past the road-side pond, I notice six different-looking ducks peacefully floating in pairs on the water. Joel is anxious to see the horses, so we drive around to the barn and paddock, and play our silly game of talking to the horses, which makes us laugh.

            Before leaving I pull off the road next to the pond, wanting to identify the ducks I’d noticed earlier. We step out of the car and walk to the edge of the water. One of each pair of ducks is dressed in coat and tails – crisp black and white, with a head crowned in deep purple. The smaller companion of each wears a feathered dress of dull brown. A cool evening breeze ruffles our hair as we watch the ducks play. One by one they dive under the water, shaking feathers as they surface. When tired of diving, they take running leaps over the surface of the pond, half-flying, half-walking-on-water. My heart rises in joy as I watch their antics while breathing in the smell of spring on the breeze.

            We watch for five minutes at most, but it feels like an eternity. A deep peace flows through my spirit and stays with me the rest of the night. At home on the internet I identify these beautiful birds as Bufflehead Ducks. They are migrating to

I can’t help but think, during this Holy Week leading up to Easter, how Jesus seeks out our hearts as a place to rest. How He seeks to bring us joy; teaching us how to play, how to walk on water, how to dive deep for the spiritual food that satisfies. How His death on a cross and His resurrection promise us new life – the new life that is burgeoning at this very moment at Parky’s Farm, and in all the world around us. 

Yesterday our hot tub, which is located on the deck in back of the house, burst into flames. I heard a loud crackling over the soundtrack of Finding Neverland, which I was watching on DVD. I wasn’t supposed to be home lying on the couch. I’d cancelled two appointments that morning because I was sick. The t.v. is in the back of the house, which is why I heard the flames. I fell over my size 10 feet running for the phone, and while talking to the 911 dispatcher watched the fence behind the hot tub catch fire. At that point I knew our home was in danger, as the fence runs up to the edge of the house.

You know those quizzes asking what you would try to save if your house caught on fire? I found myself living that quiz yesterday. It was hopeless trying to save my grand piano, which sits right next to the wall above the hot tub. So I rushed around, tripping over my robe, scooping up photographs of my son Justin’s wedding, the scrapbook I made for Joel’s graduation, and my husband’s new mission candlestick holders, which he was so excited to buy for a bargain at an antique sale last weekend. Then I went back for several one-of-a-kind original paintings that grace the walls of our living room. And of course, my laptop, even though it sits in my study in the front of the house. Pretty good for someone with the flu, hey? I thought so, until a firefighter told me that the majority of people die in fires by running back into the house to save things. Hmmm. Puts a little different slant on “things,” doesn’t it?

The fire department arrived just in time, according to one of the firefighters. The flames were shooting 12 feet high, burning several branches of the maple tree which I’ve always loved because it created a green umbrella over the hot tub in the summertime. The siding on the house started to melt and buckle. Several windows broke from the heat. We were just minutes away from a conflagration that could have taken the entire house.

The day before the fire I was sitting with my contemplative prayer group, spending time in Lectio Divina on James 1:1-18. The verses that jumped out at me that day were “Count it all joy, my brethren, when you meet various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” Count it all joy, that I was home sick with the flu on Valentine’s Day. Count it all joy, that I was in the back of the house, and heard the crackling of flames over a t.v. turned up too loud. Count it all joy, that the fire department arrived just in time. Count it all joy, that the wind carried the tower of black smoke away from the house and there was no smoke damage, or even smell of smoke, in the house. Count it all joy that the fire ignited during the day, and not at night, as Joel’s bed is on the wall above the hot tub, the wall where the siding had already begun to melt. Count it all joy that no one was hurt, that decks and hot tubs and siding, unlike human lives, can easily be replaced.

Thank you, Lord, for your protection. Thank you for our selfless firefighters who responded so quickly. Thank you for increasing the steadfast nature of my faith. And thank you, especially, for being the “Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.”

Count it ALL joy!

Only in silence the word,

Only in dark the light,

Only in dying life

Ursula LeGuin, A Wizard of Earthsea

The thief comes to rob and destroy

only to lift the lid on a well of wisdom

buried deep within your soul.

First you cry, then you listen,

let Jesus hold your feet

in His hands,

let His light

illuminate the fear-filled places,

gather friends to ward off the dark.

Wisdom bubbles up

as you listen, a fountain

of cold, clear water.

Her voice whispers:

“Life is too precious

to be circumscribed by work and duty.”

Like base metals turned to gold

in sorcerer’s hands,

work becomes vocation,

duty transforms to passion,

passion translates to mission,

reorders your life,

leaves the thief gasping

at the audacity of new life

welling up, flooding over

renewing, refreshing, restoring

For Tricia, in celebration of 5 years cancer-free

I leave for Lake Tahoe tomorrow with a group of girlfriends. We’re celebrating Tricia’s 5-year anniversary of living cancer-free. This group of women has been meeting for 10 years or so, and we go by the name of “The Red Tent,” based on the book by that title, which we read and discussed together several years ago. While we’ve had our ups and downs as a group (as is true for all groups!), Tricia’s bout with breast cancer drew us together like nothing else. It’s funny how adversity does that. We became true sisters as we each found ways to support Tricia, whether it was in bringing over home-cooked meals, accompanying her to chemo treatments, leading her through healing visualizations, or just listening when she needed to talk.

This community of sisters supported me, as well, through many years of emotional pain and frustration as Joel negotiated adolescence at the same time I was negotiating menopause. If there is one thing I want to ask God when I get to heaven, it’s why He would allow autism and menopause to exist in the same house at the same time! There were many days the stress level was through the roof; days when I didn’t know how much longer the two of us could live together; days when I wanted to run away. This group of sisters, which met every other Sunday night, allowed me to vent, and believe me, I vented! It wasn’t pretty. But they listened without condemnation and without cookie-cutter remedies. What a blessing it was, just to be listened to as I attempted to sort through some very mixed-up emotions.

I’m on the other side of all of that now. Joel is 22, and I am, thankfully, on the other side of menopause. And as I said, The Red Tent leaves for Tahoe tomorrow. 1-3 feet of snow are supposed to fall at lake level over the weekend. I am not a winter person. Six of us are going. I am an introvert who needs a lot of “alone” time. We’ll be gone a week. It is difficult for Joel when routines change for an entire week. But I will be with girlfriends who have been through the fire together. Friends who know the worst parts of me and yet accept me.

All I need now is to make sure I pack my warmest clothes, my Bible, my journal, and a few good books. I’m going to Tahoe!